When the early years of our young family had passed, even Mam's affection had begun to wane. Sadly, when too many years had passed, only loneliness remained as their reward. Their growing self centredness had caused the much-needed warmth and affection from their five offspring to grow cold years before their last days arrived. Sad was the realization that their spiritual path had become so overgrown with their thorny dispositions, that the way through for humble reconciliation was completely blocked. ⁽⁵⁾

Although late, and in view of already deserted relationships, I tried to discover the source of this sadness, and one day asked my father,

"Dad, why did Grancha let Gran have so much of her own way?"

He stared at me for some time, and I could see by his expression that he knew a key had been turned in relation to the source of our family's failure.  He replied:

"She was stronger.  She was too strong."

And in the self-same way, so was my father, I thought. Her strength had become my father's weakness too, overwhelming any chance of love from his own family. Gran had certainly left her mark, evident in her sons and daughters.

Further to this was steel erecting, and his chase for extra money from his many employers beyond the basic wage, and special treats when he got in a 'doubler.' A 'doubler' was when he persuaded an employer to allow him to get a job completed by working continuously for two days and nights, with little or no sleep. Unfortunately, the family paid for these 'doublers'. His tiredness and irritable temper manifested itself in various ways.  But he was our Dad, working his guts out for us all.

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